We all have those moments, the ones you can look back on and say, “What if . . . ” or “If only . . . ” Even if you live life without regrets, you have to wonder.
There are choices I’ve made in life as well as decisions out of my control that you wonder about. For instance, what if my girls were boys? What if my mom had married someone different?
But there is a question those that think they know me well enough ask sometimes, but that I rarely ask myself:
What if Katy had been born typical, without Down syndrome?
That is ridiculous to me. I never wonder what Libby (my older, typical daughter) would be like with a cheerleader-like personality. She’s a happy, funny girl (usually, but she is an emotional rollercoaster of pre-teen angst), but she is not a bubbly, perky cheerleader-type. And I don’t wish anything different–she is who she is. Who she’s always been.
She’s my Libby.
The same goes for Katy. She has huge amounts of personality and is bigger than life. She hugs EVERYONE and has a lot of zest for living. She lies sometimes, and tries to blame her sister for everything. She’s funny and a showboat and a picky-eater and a girly-girl. She is who she is. And I wouldn’t change her.
She’s my Katy.
And her Down syndrome is a part of who she is, who God made her to be. She wouldn’t be the same without it.
So, I can wonder about the different roads and paths life may have taken, but I can’t change my kids and who they are in their souls. I wouldn’t want that.
So, When people ask THAT question, it doesn’t upset me. But it does make me think about everything else in life, all the other decisions and choices I made, the smart and the questionable. They all got me to where I am today. And I like this place. It’s a good place. I don’t want to go back to something else, no matter what it might be. I’m happy here, in this place with this family.
I wouldn’t change a thing.
And now, The Accident by Chris Pavone.
A couple of years ago I read Chris Pavone’s The Expats and was semi-indifferent to it. I thought Pavone wrote well, but I did not like the characters much. The thriller/espionage was engrossing, but the characters were all double-dealing liars. But they were spies . . . I don’t know, many it was just the wrong time to read it. It seems to have gotten good reviews from others.
Anyway, I was leary when I got a copy of Pavone’s second book, The Accident. But I jumped into it anyhow, and I am so glad I took that plunge. The whole premises was a manuscript about a media mogul with some large skeletons in his closet, written by someone close to him. This book is submitted by an anonymous author, and the book world is a flutter. And so is the spy world.
This espionage story delves into more than just the typical spy stuff: it dusts the typical talk of CIA, NSA, and FBI. focusing instead on a weird, wild through the publishing industry. It’s AWESOME.
So glad I took a chance on this thriller. It thrilled me until the end, and the twists and turns just kept coming. Pavone made me a true believer: I may even go back and reread The Expats, just to make sure.
This would be a great vacation read; an exciting page turner that will keep you guessing until the end. 4.5 Stars!